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She and Her Cat: Everything Flows... Into misery.

5/31/2017

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The 2016 anime She and her Cat: Everything Flows currently airs on Crunchyroll and can be viewed via VRV, while the 1999 short is not yet legally available. Each episode runs for 7 minutes, except for the 1999 short, which is 4:45 minutes. This review is for both the 2016 prequel series and the 1999 short.

Okay, fair warning. I'm spoiling this series. I know, I know. Some of you out there are a little mad at me that I keep doing this, but honestly, this is for your own good. It'll all make sense later on.

Also, parents? I need to address the rating. Out of fairness, I gave this a Tween rating due to the subject matter. The Blu-Ray is technically G or "NR/Not Rated" but honestly? I would be really upset with you if you let your young kids watch this unsupervised. There's no violence, sex or swearing in this, but it's just so dark and sad that again, I really can't recommend this to it's original G rated audience. Watch with caution.

So now that I've warned you, let me be clear. This is a very depressing anime. Makoto Shinkai (The guy behind the hit film Your Name) is surprisingly the man behind the entire series. For a first try, his visual direction is great, but the story is not for those on Zoloft.

Before I dive into the story, let's look at the things that work in this show's favor.

For starters, the writing is going to hit close to home for many of you. If you're tired of fantasy anime and you're looking for something "real world" (Which is adult slang for "everyone is miserable because if you're happy, you're living in a fake world, but if you're struggling, then it's real") then this short series should be right up your alley. There is absolutely no imagination in this whatsoever, no fantasy beasts, no magic, just endless realism. The timing is also realistic, so if that's your thing, here you go.

Another thing that works? The time. All four episodes of the 2016 series combined equate to 28 minutes. Not long enough to justify the $20-65 I have seen people sell the Blu-Ray for, but long enough it doesn't overstay it's welcome. If this is your thing, you'll appreciate it's pacing. If this isn't for you, you'll be happy to know it's over in less than a half an hour. The 1999 short is four minutes, 45 seconds.

Artistically, the 1999 short is more pleasing to the eye. Both are realistic, but the original black and white short features the cat in a simplistic, cute design, and everything else ultra realistic, while the 2016 series features the cat in a more ugly form. This is to express his age of course, but eesh.

Now let's dive into the story. I have to start with the 2016 series first, or none of this will make much sense.

The four episode series follows a black cat named Daru, who is fascinated with his owner Miyu, a down-on-her-luck college student who is struggling to make ends meet. We see glimpses of her coming back to her apartment later and later, trying and failing at finding a job. Miyu initially shares the apartment with her lifelong best (and only) friend Tomoko, but when her friend gets married, it leaves Miyu and Daru to live alone in the apartment.

Daru narrates the story of his and Miyu's life, between moments of talking about how happy she makes him, how fascinated he is with her scent, and how he knows they do not speak the same language, and yet somehow, they understand each other.

We learn that he came into her life as a young kitten, in cat years, somewhere between a child and tween stage. His mother and siblings were killed by large birds, which led to him running away and finding a cardboard box, which Miyu's mother finds soon after.

Miyu's mother brought Daru home sometime after Miyu's father... dies? We have some implication he's probably dead, but it's never openly said. Miyu when she got him was somewhere between 6 and 8 years old and she was given Daru to ease the loneliness. Not only is her father out of the picture, but she'd just moved to a new town and had no friends. At first, she hates Daru and tries to abandon him, but comes to her senses and changes her tune after she makes her only friend, who happens to think Daru is cute.

We see Miyu growing up, and we learn the only reason why she moved out on her mother was so that her mom could find a replacement husband after being alone for more than a decade. At first, she doesn't want to do this, but she finds a husband and starts insisting Miyu call him "Dad" much to Miyu's chagrin. Miyu has no personality other than one of bleak cynicism, so it's really no wonder she has no friends.

In adulthood, we see Miyu struggle through one job rejection after another. She has no social life, she overworks herself trying to get a job, she avoids her mother and friend, and these scenes of abject misery are followed by brief moments of Daru trying to comfort her as his body starts to fail him.

The final episode, Daru figures out how to use a phone and gets Miyu's mother to come over. The mother is distraught to find that Miyu is so sleep deprived that she looks like a ghost. Daru sits in Miyu's arms, and just slightly nudges her towards talking to her mother. They finally share a laugh together, and Daru feels happy knowing that Miyu is happy.

... And then Daru dies in Miyu's arms, as her mother is about to leave.

Daru's soul lingers in the apartment for one year, while Miyu battles depression.

It's here that the anime becomes self-aware, and realizes it's much too dark for it's own good. So after the credits roll, we cut to Springtime, a year after Daru's death. Miyu has grown her hair back to the way it was when they first met. She finally has a job and on a rainy day, finds a cardboard box, just the way her mother found when she discovered Daru years ago. Inside the box is a white cat, and we realize quickly that it's Daru, reborn.

The 1999 short picks up where Daru is now Chiho. He has a girlfriend cat, but because she is younger, not yet fully grown and he is now in love with Miyu, he doesn't take too much interest in her. Yeah. It just got creepy. He even retains some of his memories of Miyu from years past, which is just throwing a little extra creep onto this pasta. (See what I did there?) 

Miyu is still battling depression, and isn't making it very far into her adult life, but just as he did when he was Daru, Chiho stays by her side, and the short ends with it suddenly being winter again, and they both decide that they like living together just fine.... um... okay? I guess we can say this counts as a happy ending.

She and her Cat is deeply depressing, but very realistic. Anyone struggling through their 20's will completely understand Miyu as long as they can look past her dismal attitude, and pet lovers will take comfort in Daru's quick rebirth and memory retention. But if you suffer from depression, hate to see a cat die or you are a kid, I can't really recommend the 2016 installment. Watch at your own risk.

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Onigiri: The short that comes up short

5/20/2016

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Onigiri currently airs on The Anime Network for paid subscribers. Each episode is roughly 3-4 minutes long and the first season is set to last 13 episodes. It's based on the video game of the same title. Three OVA episodes are available legally for FREE on the official Onigiri YouTube Channel.

*Sigh* What happened here?

Back in January, I wrote about Onigiri, the free video game that took PS4 users by storm. The video game has you create a fighter and then travel through a fantasy world, killing demons known as Kamigui, while also helping to save and then cultivate a strong fighter in Princess Shizuka.

While I praised the game for it's gender neutral, gender friendly storytelling and options, I did share with you all it's racy, anime commercials, which you can watch here. The commercials puzzle me, because while the video game does have sensual content, the girls are portrayed as independent, strong women (minus Shizuka at first) and the game treats men and women equally. There are even LBGTQ friendly options for the players and the focus is more on the combat rather than fanservice. But the ads feature overtly sexualized, sometimes nude women, in less heroic situations.

What I did not know at the time, was that the ads, which run at 2-3 minutes a piece, were actually free episodes of the new Onigiri anime, which had not been announced at the time they went live to YouTube. So with that being said, when I read the announcement that Onigiri was getting it's own, full fledged series, I was surprised. Ignoring the sexualized OVA, I went right to The Anime Network with the intent to binge watch the first seven episodes.

... And.... eh?

Don;t misunderstand me. This is not a bad show. In fact, there's a lot of good things about it.

For starters, the opening theme is done by STARMARIE. It's an energetic dance track that's also soothing on the ears. I highly recommend giving "Hime wa Rankiryu☆Goikkou-sama" a listen.

Also, the animation is fluid. There are no shortcuts made, no stock footage, just everything you could ask for in an anime. As a bonus, the colors and drawings actually match the video game art, something often overlooked when translating a game to the TV screen.

But as for accuracy? It's not here.

​If you saw the OVA on YouTube, then you already know this show has no desire to follow the video game. Select elements appear, and certainly some of the game's characters, but it doesn't follow the path of the game at all.

Instead, we are treated to 3 minute episodes where the girls all act stupid.

It's a comedy, and I get that. But where it's based on a more serious video game, it's problematic. Princess Shizuka is the only character that retains around 95% of her in-game progression, while the other characters bumble about the screen, getting drunk, acting selfish and doing everything except going after the Kamigui. In fact, their lack of battle is a running gag on the show, where at the end of each episode, the narrator reminds the audience that this is supposed to be an adventure show about fighting the Kamigui.

As for the guys? They're accessories. 

For a video game that was as gender friendly as Onigiri is, it amazes me just how sexist the anime is. Yeah, the girls are overtly sexualized, but at least they have personalities and dialogue. The men are basically paper dolls and a sword. In fact, outside of the narrator and maybe two background characters, NONE of the men have voice actors! This also becomes a running gag, where when they speak, all we get is a Final Fantasy style text box, and the girls just nod their heads and react. It's a clever joke, but it also sends the idea that men are toys.

That being said however, the anime is self-aware. 

It's like the show knows it's not living up to the video game, and it's just trying to do the best it can in the short amount of time allotted. Each episode takes place in it's own story. 

Some episodes will poke fun at the game. For example, you'll see two of the girls fighting demons, and then suddenly, the screen turns black, and a voice overhead says "You were caught cheating/using an illegal move, you are banned for three days" poking fun at the game's community rules. Other times, a character will earn exp points or they might "die" on camera only to re-spawn a second later with half of their money.

If you haven't played the video game, Onigiri might give you a few chuckles. But if you have played the game, you'll find yourself wondering what might have been.


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Aiura: Boring School Girls?

4/8/2016

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Aiura currently airs on Crunchyroll for FREE viewers. Each episode of the 2013 anime runs for four minutes, with approximately one minutes allotted for the opening song and another minute for the end credits. Only 12 episodes were animated. The show is based on a four-panel comic strip that was later published in several graphic novel manga books.

I never thought it would be possible for high school girls to be so... boring. But such is the case of Aiura, a sweetly drawn anime that had plenty of potential, but never went anywhere.

Right at the start, we meet 15 year old Ayuko, who is starting her first day of high school. She is quickly joined by Kanaka, a deep-voiced red-head who has a bad habit of re-naming people at will, and Saki, a tall, boyish blonde who enjoys ignoring Kanaka's antics.

In the background are a few smaller characters, including Kanaka's aloof little brother Souta, the prissy class representative Mei, and their lazy teacher with an odd personality, Sumiko. 

Each episode opens with Kanaka being goofy, a hobby she takes a little too seriously. Ayuko shyly goes along with the odd torture that is Kanaka, at least until Saki delivers a blow to Kanaka's antics. On occasion, the girls will do something a little bit cute or funny, but these segments are few and far between.

It's a shame more wasn't done for this slice-of-life program, as the animation is pretty good. CGI is kept to the bare minimum of accents, much like the second season of Sailor Moon Crystal, and the style of drawing is neat and a little on the cute side. The final episode has some impressive imagery involving a gorgeous sunset and a pretty midnight sky, but these segments come too late to spice up the show.

​At four minutes an episode, it's very easy to binge watch the whole series in one sitting, if you can get through the tone-deaf opening and dreary ending song. Aiura isn't a bad show, it's just one that didn't really try. 

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Sekkou/Sekkō/Sekko Boys: The hottest boy band in history?

2/22/2016

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Sekko Boys currently airs on Crunchyroll Fridays at 11:40 am EST. Each episode runs under eight minutes in length. Free episodes are a week behind paid.

​Sekko Boys is a must for teen anime fans, especially anybody into pop music.

The short follows college graduate Miki Ishimoto, who just got hired on to be the assistant to an up and coming boy band, full of single, muscular hunks. Sounds dreamy, right?

Well here's the catch. The boy band is made entirely of talking busts, all based on Italian and Greek figures in history and mythology, respectively. The statues need to be carted everywhere, they weigh a ton, they constantly bicker, and Miki... actually HATES statues, because when she was trying to make it in art class, that's all she was ever given to paint!

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Medici is the aloof bust based on Giuliano di Lorenzo de' Medici, Lord of Florence between 1513-1516. Medici doesn't just dream of being a famous idol, he's also an actor, though he's usually cast as a prop.
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St. Giorgio is based on Saint George, an ex-Roman soldier who was decapitated as a Christian martyr in 303 AD. 
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Mars is based on the Roman god of the same name, who is often confused with the Greek god Ares. Mars was once a god of war, but only for attaining peace. He has admitted to having many loves and potential children, causing bad press for the band.
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Hermes is the only non-Italian member of the band, and is also considered to be the "sweet" one. He is based on the Greek god of the same name, who is sometimes confused with Mercury. Despite being the most generous of the band, he's also been caught shilling an As Seen On TV product as of late, in a non-bust statue form. His younger half-brother Dionysus appears as a baby statue on his back, even though he is not considered to be a minor and is the god of wine. (A.K.A. Bacchus.) 

​As of episode seven, there is also a rival idol group, known as Dandy 2 Men.
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Molière is based off of French comedy writer and actor Jean-Baptiste Poquelin, who lived during the 1600's. Aside from singing, he performs wild plays with his partner...
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Brutus, who is based on Marcus Junius Brutus. Though Marcus Brutus is best known as the man who aided in the assassination of Julius Caesar, the bust was actually constructed by Michelangelo to honor ​Lorenzino de Medici ~ who was related to Giuliano di Lorenzo de' Medici! Thus coming full circle. This Brutus is insistent he's not the same as the man he was based off of.

The Sekko Boys admire their rivals, and want to be the most popular idol group in the world, which means plenty of chaotic publicity events and TV appearances, as scheduled with Miki, who semi-wanted to be an idol too, but has put her dreams on the back-burner for the boys.

At the end of every episode, you can hear the Sekko Boys singing. And if you think their voices sound familiar, you're right!

Saint Giorgio is played by Tomokazu Sugita, who is better known as Kyon in The Melencholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and as Joseph Joestar in Jozo's Bizzarre Adventure.

Medici is based off of Shinnosuke Tachibana, who you may know as Prince Kanata in Go! Princess PreCure.

Hermes is voiced by Jun Fukuyama, who is currently delighting ears as Koro Sensei in Assassination Classroom.

Mars is voiced by Daisuke Ono, who you know as Kou Ichijou in the Persona 4 anime.

Not to be outdone, Miki is voiced by Shiho Kokido, who is currently known as Aroma in Go! Princess Precure.

Sekko Boys is full of laughs, but not all of the humor is for the straight A students. There are plenty of silly jokes for those who don't know anything about the statues, and the endless suffering of Miki will likely see you in stitches.

Sekko Boys is odd, intelligent, but mostly harmless, clean teasing of the entire craze that surrounds boy bands. It puts into perspective the 9 to 5 daily routine of hard working idols (and their long suffering handlers) without getting too serious. It'll have you rethinking what you know about pop idols.
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Doamaiger/Doamayger D: A sugary Mech?

1/3/2016

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Doamaiger-D reruns currently air on Funimation. The series has been re-titled as "Doamayger-D" for the North American market, but currently runs in subtitled form. Each episode lasts 2 minutes 39 seconds. 13 episodes were animated.

Doamaiger-D is a classic throwback to 1960's and 1970's anime, but animated using computer software, much akin to Anime Studio.

The short series is centered around 17 year old Daijirou, who has recently inherited a traditional Japanese sweets shop in Kyoto. Daijirou's father abandoned the family when he was growing up, and at the start of the series, Daijirou hates his father for running away.

One day, Daijirou finds a giant mech his father has left behind in the basement of the sweets shop. Around the same time, evil robots and giant monsters start creeping up all throughout Kyoto, some of whom originated as angsty humans whose hearts have turned. Realizing that he can save the town with the mech and his knowledge of making perfect confectioneries, Daijirou pilots the mech (Doamaiger) into town, using the mech to deliver a final blow to each monster while also giving the original person a sweet that brings them back to normal. As he solves the issues of the monsters one by one, he's followed by a very 1960's inspired news reporter, who has a little crush on him.

(Lady, he's 17. Don't be a PedoBear.)

As the series goes on, Doamaiger faces destruction from battle a few times, while Daijirou earns himself a rival in an American tycoon named Robert. Robert speaks with a Texan-dialect, mispronouncing hard "A's" in his words while flaunting how much money he's made. He intends to take over the Japanese sweets business using his army of soulless, American robots. These scenes are at times funny, but also a little uncomfortable to watch, as the anti-American sentiment is hammered in hard. Robert's scenes teeter between tongue-in-cheek humor based off of some of our more disrespectful celebrities, and blatant racism.

Very late in the series, Daijirou finds himself face to face with his father again, and in a very cliche way, learns the true motive behind his father's abandonment. His father (who looks very much like an octopus) pilots his own mech, and eventually teams up with his son to face Robert.

The ending of the series is very predictable, and ties up all of the loose ends in a blink-and-you-miss-it fashion. Doamaiger's fate leaves much to be desired, so I can't say I can recommend episode 13.

There is a bit of education to the series as a bonus. Extra text scrolls across the top and sides of the screen, prompting a second and third replay. If you don't pause the screen to read them, you'll miss out on brief lessons abut Japanese culture, and about many of the sweets Daijirou is making.

Doamaiger-D is extremely short, with all episodes combined lasting just slightly more than a half an hour. It would have worked better as a 30 minute OVA, instead of a 13 episode short series. The 60's nostalgia is there, but the animations are jittery, bearing resemblance to cutouts from a coloring book. Still, it's a cute tribute to old TV anime.
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Ani Tore! EX/Anime de Training EX: PedoBear EXERCISES? 

12/7/2015

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Anime De Training currently airs on Crunchyroll with new episodes airing Mondays at 1:40pm EST until December 28th. Episode run-time is sporadic, with each episode running between two and seven minutes.

Anime De Training, known in Japan as Ani Tore! EX, had a concept that on paper doesn't sound too bad. Each week, this first-person anime invites you into the home or gym of an aspiring young idol, as she teaches you basic exercises.

And if it wasn't animated by a team of lazy PedoBears, it wouldn't have been a bad show.

The show exists on a weird plane. It is educational. The exercises the girls teach you actually do work. I can thank the show for helping me drop a few vanity pounds thanks in part to the lessons. When compared to your basic, beginner's workout tape, it stacks up just fine, and even offers common-sense logic for avoiding injury.

.... But the drawings are just creepy and sick.

Now as of this writing, there are no episodes with the girls wearing less than beachwear, but that's hardly an argument when you consider that the camera goes right up their pants.

And then there's the sound effects. None of the girls (ages 10-14) can just count to ten. Of course not. Instead they have to struggle through the numbers like this:

Girl: Okay, ready? Here we go! One.... two.... three.... four.... five OW it's getting hard now.... six... seeeeveeeeennnn, eeeeight, almost there!! Niiiine, TEN AHH!!! *pant pant* wow... that was hard work...

At NO point EVER should I EVER hear a kid that young make THOSE kind of sounds!!! EVER!!

Making these scenes even worse are random shots of the girls trying to hold their clothes on, while Chibi versions of themselves tug and grab at their sides. We're also greeted with shots of the girls talking to the viewer less like a workout buddy as the show description would have you believe, and more like the significant other she's snuck into her bedroom while mom is out shopping. The later episodes seem to drive that image home.

A HUGE contention I have also is that the girls are all borderline anorexic, and yet they pressure themselves and each other to get thinner and thinner. Do I have to say what's wrong with this scenario? Or are we all mature enough to figure that out by ourselves? The excuse is that the girls are all training to become entertainment idols, and they understand that singing idols need to maintain a certain "fit" image in order to remain popular, but since the concept of them becoming idols is mentioned so infrequently, it fails to stand up as an excuse at all, and is all but dropped as the show's main focus.

Also disturbing are the girls' clothes. True, we've yet to see nudity, but the fabric they're masquerading as clothing leaves little to the imagination. I understand the girls have to be seen in gym clothes, but with how tight the pants are, and again, the camera angles, the animators have taken normal, everyday wear and made it the stuff of nightmares.

The animation on most episodes is decent enough, but the dance episodes feature sloppy cuts between 2D computer-drawn animation to 3D CGI. If the transitions went more smoothly, or if the CGI was saved for the credits, I doubt it would have been noticeable, but the splicing is so jarring, it's cringe worthy, but it's not like I can expect better from a team of pedophiles.

The show's educational value is just not enough to mask the flaws the writing team has dumped on us. Yes, it's a "short" show under ten minutes, but that's not even an excuse.

Anime De Training is a show created by pedophiles in an effort to make women and young girls feel ashamed for not being under 90 lbs. The semi soft and "cute" drawings are not enough to mask this issue, and it seems highly unlikely a second season will make air. It's creepy and uncomfortable to watch, and leaves sane watchers feeling unclean.

UPDATE: Crunchyroll has the scoop here. Officially, the exercises DO work.... and the only people getting fit by doing the training are male PedoBears on Twitter while showing off their new, scantly dressed bodies. If you think I'm kidding, click here. These guys are hiding their faces for a reason.

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I Can't Understand What My Husband Is Saying: But I Love it!!

11/23/2015

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Crunchyroll currently airs both seasons of I Can't Understand What My Husband Is Saying for free users. As of this writing, it is unclear if a third season is in development or not. Each episode runs three minutes, thirty seconds.

This is an absolute must-see for anybody in a mixed marriage between an otaku and a non-otaku.

I found this show by accident one night while surfing through Crunchyroll, and it really spoke to me. When I first saw it, I was just a week removed from having gotten married. My husband is NOT an otaku, and usually only watches a few anime titles, while I am HUGE on all things anime.

So this show, a Slice of Life that follows an OL (Office Lady) married to a die-hard Otaku really spoke to me.

Kaoru is  cynical, 25 years old and just barely a newlywed OL. In the first season, we see that she smokes, enjoys fine foods and drinking, and is overall subdued and very plain. Her 23 year old husband Hajime on the other hand is a bit high-strung, collects everything and anything anime-related, and still has more than one anime "waifu" to think of outside of Kaoru. He tries to make a living as a blogger and web designer, but Kaoru is the bread-winner with her 9 to 5 job. (Hajime sounds more like me. Hmm...) On the surface, you would think the two don't get along at all, but in truth, one can't do well without the other. They have a healthy sex life, which leads to Kaoru's pregnancy between the first and second seasons.

Joining the couple is an eclectic cast.

We have Mayotama, Hajime's younger brother, who is getting by as a Boy's Love/Yaoi (Gay Romance Manga) writer. Mayotama is perverted and flirtatious, and sometimes doesn't understand that brothers need to have a healthy boundry to avoid being incestuous. But despite his sexual appetite, he is very loyal to his brother, and wants to do well.

Tanaka-san is an old friend of Kaoru's from school, but is now her doctor. She starts off as a background character in the first season, but is seen more and more as the show goes on. She ends up naming Kaoru's as yet unborn baby girl, Sayoko. She is married to the stoic Yamada.

Nozomu and Rino are close friends of Kaoru and Hajime. Rino's growth was stunted, so she is often mistaken for being a child.

Miki is a cool manga enthusiast, and the object of Mayotama's affection. Miki once asked Mayotama out on a date, but was shocked to find that Mayotama is indeed, a boy. 

The show paints an honest look at newlywed life, and is rife with comedy. It's sweet and silly, and the animation is surprisingly fluid for looking so childish. It's an absolute must. Hopefully the manga will be released state-side.
​

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Hackadoll: Your defective Google doll!

10/11/2015

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Hackadoll currently airs on DAISUKI and Crunchyroll Friday nights at 11:30 EDT. Each episode runs 7 minutes, 50 seconds. The series is based off of an app and is set to last 13 episodes.

This article was originally published on 10/11/2015 but was edited on 11/08/2015 to include new information.


​Hackadoll is an energetic, bright new series from ​Studio Trigger, and does a fair job of parodying internet searches.

The premise is simple. Hackadolls are supposed to act as a personal enhancement and entertainment device for humans. They exist in a far future, where we are technologically advanced, but most humans are barely inclined to do more than mundane jobs. A good Hackadoll will search the internet based off of what she scans from you, and based on your personality and interests, find you books and all types of self-help to help you advance to the next level in your life.

.... Unfortunately, the three pictured are defective.

Threatened with being dismantled for scrap, Hackadolls 1, 2 and 3 bounce from person to person, trying to be helpful. But in each short episode, they manage to screw up in funny and well drawn ways. The chemistry between the trio can be felt even without a visual, as all three are voiced by members of the voice-actress unit, Wake Up, Girls! The personal entertainment AI and main navigator HackaDoll #1 is played by Miyu Takagi, Anime expert HackaDoll #2  is played by Kaya Okuno and the lazy Otaku of the trio HackaDoll #3, is voiced by Nanami Yamashita.

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HackaDoll 0: #0 is the tough, no-nonsense leader of the HackaDolls with white hair. She is frequently annoyed by the repeat failures of the younger HackaDolls, and has no problem beating each one senseless.

​HackaDoll 4: Newcomer HackaDoll 4 is energetic and reckless. The green haired troublemaker has strong electric powers, and does a better job of advancing people..... but always stops short of finishing the job

HackaDoll 1: The main HackaDoll with blonde locks is energetic, eager to please and is almost as reckless as #4. She usually jumps into any job given, but rarely listens long enough for directions.

HackaDoll 2: The pink haired HackaDoll is very shy, and usually more cautious than the others. Most of the jokes revolve around her giant breasts.

HackaDoll 3: Lazy and always sleepy is HackaDoll 3, who is also a major otaku and huge manga reader. Originally planned to be a girl, episode 6 reveals #3 to actually be a boy, when a glitch temporarily changes his gender.
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The series has a goofy humor to it, the type where you turn off your brain and just let the animations entertain you. The costumes are sexy, but still very tasteful, which is reflective of the fact that the Hackadolls are forbidden from doing anything sexual to their human. The show is based off of an app by DeNA, which has a snazzy ad that shows off the animation style for the first episode:
Though (spoiler alert) the actual episode does not end as well for the Hackadolls.

Accompanying the happy-go-lucky feel of the show, is a soundtrack that is easy on the ears. Episode 2 features a track with 90's R&B influences, and each episode ends in a catchy CGI dance done in MikuMikuDance. 

Hackadoll is a campy, enjoyable romp, and is sure to be a hit this Fall.
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Donyatsu: Square Enix's Post APOCALYPTIC Doughnut-Cats?

9/21/2015

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Reruns of Donyatsu currently air on Crunchyroll. The series only lasted 12 episodes with the ending airing separately as a 13th "bonus" short. Episodes last less than two minutes.

This may be the first family-friendly short series to hit Crunchyroll. If I'm wrong on that, I will gladly correct this post.

Donyatsu believe it or not, is actually produced by Square Enix, the same people behind Final Fantasy, if you can believe it. Watching all 12 episodes, you would likely never notice.

Donyatsu takes place in a post-apocalyptic world, where the only surviving creatures left on Earth are wicked mice, and very soft-hearted, doughnut-cats. The concept sounds dark and freaky.... and yet it never comes across as dark at all. In fact, what caused the apocalypse isn't even really explained, and it's probably the cleanest apocalyptic show ever to hit television.

Each short finds Donyatsu and his friends playing, goofing around and basically enjoying friendship. The plot never seems to get very thick, and the visuals steer clear of being too scary. Probably the closest thing to a scary moment would be the "Tummy Ache" episode, but again, the visuals are less threatening than an episode of Sesame Street. Random shots of outer space show that the original intent was to take the cats outside orbit, but this ends up being more for the manga.

Donyatsu is soft, easy on the eyes, and doesn't overstay it's welcome. The manga is only slightly darker, but isn't very scary either. A decent starter series for small tots.

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My Wife is the Student Council President... and she's 15 until episode 11.

9/18/2015

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My Wife is the Student Council President currently airs on Crunchyroll every Thursday at 2:30 PM EST. You must be a member over age 18 to watch it. Free subscribers can watch only the edited version, while Premium subscribers have access to the uncensored version. Each episode is 7-8 minutes long with most clocking out at 7:52.  It is unclear if a second season is in the works. Seven graphic novels have been printed in Japan since 2012.

Where do I even start on this one?

My Wife is the Student Council President is a new short anime series, based off of the manga "Okusama ga Seito Kaichō" which has been running since January of 2012. (HOW??) As of July, the series has had it's 8th graphic novel published in Japan (WHY??) but the anime just started July 2nd on Crunchyroll. It's very first season should be wrapping up soon, and it has not been said if a second season will air or not.

And believe me, it's a hard sell. 

It was all I could do to force myself to watch all (as of right now) eleven episodes both censored and uncensored, just so I could give this article a fair shot. Episode one I was ready to throw in the towel, but I can't base a whole review on just one, 7:52 minute episode, now can I?

Yes, this IS very long. If that bothers you, I have plenty of shorter articles, and shorter reviews are coming, but I needed to get this off my chest.

As a warning, even the censored "TV Print" is extremely raunchy. I'm not even sure how the BPO hasn't gotten to this show yet, especially since it airs not only online, but on the Japanese TV stations AT-X, TVS, KBS, tvk, and SUN-TV. The censored cut replaces the graphic images with cardboard cut-outs of the characters being "wacky" or interacting with live-action props and animals, but the audio is left 100% alone, leaving nothing to the imagination. Again, I'm surprised Japan's TV censors haven't had a group coronary yet. At least AT-X airs the show after midnight, but still...

The series follows Hayato, a high school student, living by himself, who is also the vice-president of the student council. In the first episode, it looks as though he will become the next president of the student council, when suddenly, his campaign is uprooted by Ui (pictured above). Ui wins over the entire school by passing out condoms and proclaiming her term as president to be all about free love.

Not only does Ui win, but she later becomes Hayato's self-proclaimed wife. And seeing as how they now exist in an arranged marriage anyway, after Hayato reveals their parents drunkenly set them up in the arranged marriage when they were three years old,  this leaves Hayato choice-less. Ui moves into Hayato's apartment and decides to ruin his life. Is this supposed to be funny?

Ui is not happy just taking up space and ordering Hayato around to do her chores while she eats snacks, watches TV and reads manga. She also tries to rape him. In almost every episode. UM EXCUSE ME???? Did I miss the memo on rape being funny??? Last time I checked, not only was rape of either gender not funny, it was also ~ what's that? Oh yeah ~ ILLEGAL!!!

So how does Hayato respond? Simple. By being uptight, calling Ui horrific names, smacking her with a shoe, hitting her, and occasionally, sexually teasing her. Wait, what the fuck?? HOW does this solve the problem?? How about kick the psycho to the curb and call the police? How about disown every single person trying to force you two together? Is there no common sense here??

But this is the strange writing of My Wife Is The Student Council President. Hayato is being used as a slave in his own home, and is sexually assaulted by Ui every other chance she gets, but at the same time, he also wants to go all the way with her. And yet, although Ui tries to rape him, she usually stops just before they take it to the next level. IT MAKES NO SENSE!!!

But of course, what's a "comedy" about rape, without a rambunctious cast of equally questionable characters?

Ui's mother Misato for example, is proud to give them sex advice and for Ui, rape tips. And why not? She was the one who arranged their marriage while stinking drunk. And if that doesn't make her absolutely creepy, maybe this bit will, she looks ten years old. She's very proud to look ten years old after giving birth to a teenager. And she loves that her husband loves that after all these years, she still looks ten years old. PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE BOTHERED HERE!!

When Hayato is not being raped by Ui, he is being screamed at by Rin, the self-appointed head of the disciplinary committee.... that nobody in school asked for.... voted on.... wanted.... and seemingly only has her in it. Rin denounces anything she thinks is "immoral" behavior, to the point of stalking Hayato and Ui, so she can foil their attempts at kissing, hugging or doing anything she thinks is naughty. WHO is Rin? Why does her opinion count? Nobody knows, and it doesn't. And seemingly, nobody in the entire town has the brainpower to tell her that to her face. The only justification (CAN I even use this word?) I can find, is in episode 4, where she tells Hayato that when her breasts came in large, many of the kids at school decided to spread rumors about her for fun. So she became a self-appointed censor, so she could make people believe she's too pious for sexual activity...... even though she has sexual ideas planned for Hayato, who does but doesn't have feelings for her. Did that make sense to you? No? Good, you're fine then.

Rin's older sister Kei is the school nurse. Kei is raising Rin on her own, and moves into the apartment next door to Hayato, so she can spy on him. When she gets bored, she likes to dress like a hooker, and has already tried to not only rape Hayato, but get her kid sister involved as well. WHAT THE FUCK???

Makoto is a tiny high schooler, who behaves much like Rin, except she pees on herself and takes graphic photos of people when they aren't looking. Like Rin, she feels it's just fine to barge into Hayato's life, and start bossing him around... even though SHE IS A TOTAL STRANGER!!

Aside from being under constant attack, Hayato's entire life revolves around telling lies to everyone at school, so nobody will find out he is living alone with Ui. Why? Because he is worried over what people might say.

Here's a question. WHO FUCKING CARES????

Seriously! Who cares if you're shacking up with Ui? Shouldn't you be less concerned with how COMPLETE AND TOTAL STRANGERS look at you, and more concerned that there are several psychos, trying to sexually assault you and ruin your life??

Well episode 11 semi-answered this question for me. Aside from his fear of losing face to a bunch of abject strangers, perhaps Hayato is worried, because he's been getting sexually involved with a 15 year old girl. Yeah, that's right. Ui doesn't even hit 16 until episode 11. Granted, Hayato and Ui as of now are the same age, but since in their prefecture, the legal age of marriage is 16, it may have caused concern until Ui's birthday.

.... And is anybody else freaked out that there are two sixteen year olds, living ALONE together and trying to rape each other????

Look, I'm not a prude. sex has it's place in anime, and I'm fine with more shows dealing with it. But would it kill some of these "writers" to do these scenes with consenting adults instead of rape-happy teenagers?? I wouldn't care if Hayato and Ui were eighteen and willing, but this has gone too far.

I'm sure some of you might be looking around for the "comment" button, and I encourage you to start typing. I already know Chris Beveridge of The Fandom Post has just written the show off as "silly and harmless" and those of you looking the show up right now on Wikipedia might be reading that and thinking "TCH AUGH!! Stupid Codename Sailor Earth. There she goes again, totally missing the point that Japan's culture is all about underage sex scenes, why can't she just lighten up?" but you won't see me budge on this one.

My Wife Is The Student Council President is as obnoxious as it's insipidly long title. It's creepy, nonsensical, is clearly drawn by PedoBears and has no idea when to quit. 

Thankfully, I do, and this will be the last time I'll be watching.

In case I haven't mentioned this before, I'm very anti-rape regardless of gender, so I'd like to take a moment and ask you all to check out RAINN. They're one of the most important charities we have today. They offer education and support for victims, and so much more. They are currently fighting to end sexual abuse and to reform laws regarding the issue in countries where it's all but the norm.

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    Codename Sailor earth

    Codename Sailor Earth is a lifelong anime and wrestling fan. IRL she is cartoonist Koriander Bullard, formerly Koriander Ake, a happily married Chicagoan. Her favorite anime is Sailor Moon. A baby in the late 80's, the first anime titles she ever saw were Speed Racer, Voltron and Robotech.

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