Okay, I'd like to know exactly what mind control has been used on everyone to dupe the planet into thinking this passes as "tasty", because it seems like I'm the only one not drinking the Kool-Aid here.

Or in this case, Ramune.

So if you watch Dagashi Kashi, it's very likely that you have seen Hotaru (Not Sailor Saturn, though they both have purple hair) drink a bottle of Ramune soda, a carbonated beverage that comes in a wide variety of flavors. My local Five Below store picks up about four of the flavors, so curiously, I snagged a bottle for less than $2. I love to try out Japanese snacks and different sodas, so this was a no brainer of a purchase.

Examining the bottle pictured below, it's hard to tell what exactly "Original" is supposed to taste like. There are pictures of a piggy incense burner, lanterns and all types of summery images all over the bottle, so I'm going to guess that "original" is supposed to taste like the beach. The ingredients are corn syrup, sugar, carbonated water and "artificial" flavor, so it's anybody's guess what they were aiming for.

For the unindoctrinated, opening the bottle is something of a painful chore. After ripping off the plastic wrapper, you need to push apart the green plastic cap, which will push out a T shaped plunger. Then, you push the plunger with all your might down on the top of the bottle, forcing a glass marble down into a chamber. You can use the plunger to put a light cap on the bottle between sips, and when you pour the soda, the marble stops it from spilling out too much. It's an interesting gimmick, but I don't like risking injury pushing the hard to force glass apart just to get a 6 ounce beverage open.

But more frustrating than the packaging, which is the pop equivalent to a glass blister package, is the taste.

Original Ramune is awful.

The sharp, bitter taste is only slightly offset by a syrupy sugar. It's like a more mild Alka-Seltzer but minus the enjoyment. At first I thought this was just excess carbon from the water mixed with glass shards, but the further down I went, the worse the taste got.

Baffling are the Amazon reviews and the myriad of blogs praising the original flavor. I've seen the terms "sweet" and "fun" thrown around, and comments from parents praising the health hazard bottle, buying it by the case, and I just can't understand what the enjoyment of it is.

Original flavor Ramune is like club soda mixed with Goody powder headache medicine. It's nasty and leaves a filmy aftertaste. Save your money and avoid this carbonated concoction.

Not too long ago, I popped into my local Kroger store to pick up some rice and a box of Strawberry Pocky, when I saw they were having a closeout sale on some canned drinks from Malaysia. The cans came in bright colors and in flavors I've never tried before as drinks: White Gourd, Chrysanthemum and Lychee. So I checked around for the price tag.

Chrysanthemum: 69 cents.
White Gourd: 49 cents.
Lychee: 89 cents.

​Expiration date: May 17, 2017

Did I go back in time? These are unheard of prices in today's market! So seeing this as a bargain, I grabbed one can of each, took them home, chilled and took a few, hearty sips.

​... I am sorry to say this, but there is a great reason why the drinks are this dirt cheap.

First up was the Lychee drink in the pink and red can. I was expecting the usual candy flavor for lychee, which is a mellow sweet/tart combination. But instead, all I got was sickly-sweet syrup. There's so much corn syrup in this canned beverage that it drowns out all traces of the lychee berry.

Next was the Chrysanthemum drink in the sunny, yellow can. This had a bright, floral scent to it, but sadly, that did not translate to flavor. Again, there was so much sugar in the watered down drink that I couldn't taste anything. For being called a "tea" drink, there's no actual tea in it either.

Last was the White Gourd drink in the bright green can, and this was the most confusing of the trio. It too was swimming in enough sugar to dilute the flavor, but it left a bitter aftertaste, somewhere between a tart fruit and a sharp, green veggie taste. It also had an odd scent to it, somewhat like stale potpourri.

While all three boast not having any artificial preservatives, they are loaded with corn syrup, which as we all know, isn't really good for you, and caramel, thus erasing any hope of this being a "healthy" beverage.  I could live with that, but the flavors were a real let-down.